What's This Process Like?
Upsetting situations, and other issues you may be experiencing, arise from internal as well as external conditions.
While in other contexts you may work to change the external conditions (change your job, do mutual aid, protest) to make things better, in the context of therapy we work to understand and choose to change your internal conditions. This of course does not mean therapeutic work would be oblivious to external conditions. What focusing on your internal conditions means is simply that in our work you remain the center of the conversation.
Together we would work to understand how certain thinking patterns came about, and how it became and stays ingrained in you.
Much of this kind of thought process is initially unconscious and hard to discover or change without a therapeutic, or psychoanalytic, relationship. Our space together is the place where you are the center of the conversation and still in a relationship. You can tell me things you can’t tell other people, in ways you can’t tell other people. We might discover you and I are falling into the same patterns as in other contexts. We can use that to understand what happens for you. Unlike in other relationships, in the analytic one we will both be invested in your experience and we don’t have to worry about taking care of my experience.
I will sit with you in your reality and experiences, the good and the bad.
It won’t always be easy and it won’t always be fun. But I will be in it with you. You might not always feel comfortable—we may, in time, talk about very uncomfortable things—so we will work together so you will feel that in our space it is okay to be uncomfortable.
We can work once a week to start but typically it feels right after a period of time to meet more frequently.
Or we can start off working together a few times a week. Before either of these we will have a trial period where we can see if we are right for each other and decide on how to move forward together. As we meet more often our conversations may shift to what’s going on in your mind rather than just your day.
Our work is to understand you.
Once you have a greater knowledge of yourself, you can cultivate a choice to change things. What we will do is figure out how things work to give you more of a sense of agency or choice in how your mind works. I don’t teach you how to cope with problems; I help you to understand your relationship to problems so you can gain a relationship to your own thoughts. Our work will help you to better relate to your thoughts, and your mind, not just react.